An Uncomfortable Conversation
Bradley, Kristal and I have been roommates for almost six years. During this time we’ve grown together, learned together, worked together, struggled and sacrificed together, celebrated together, traveled together. We shared our lives and meals together, and this was our home.
We have a great synergy and close friendship. For all intents and purposes, we were a family.
This weekend, Bradley and Kristal moved out. Not because we got into a fight or can’t stand living together anymore. It’s just time for them to move on, into their own home as a couple.
A couple of months ago, we had our first discussion of what needed to be done for us to part ways and talked about a timeline. Kristal asked me how I was doing with all of this, and said that I seemed distant lately. I had not been aware of this, but it made sense. This is a big change – for all of us. I am going to be living alone for first time in almost six years and this is going to hurt. This is going to suck. At least for a little while. And I was holding that in.
Verbalizing and talking about feelings face to face has always been difficult for me. I tend to internalize what I’m feeling, compensate with humor and / or attempt to distance myself, and express my thoughts later by writing it out in journals or songs. I suppose that’s called a defense mechanism.
But Kristal interrupted that (negative) cycle and we opened up to each other. We talked about how difficult this was going to be. We said “I love you”. We hugged. We shed a tear. We talked about how strange this going to be for all of us.
It hurt. It was difficult and it was uncomfortable (at least for me) to have this conversation.
And that’s the point. Open and honest communication is how we connect to each other. That’s how we cultivate deep, meaningful, lasting relationships with people who can helps us cope with our emotions in a healthy way.
All too often, the things we need to say to each other (and hear from each other) go unsaid. But every day we wake up is a chance to not let that happen.
How can you take a step out of your emotional comfort zone or break down your walls today? Will you take the opportunity to tell someone you love them, or that you’re sorry, or that you miss them? Will you share a meaningful conversation and a laugh, a kiss, a hug, or a cry? I hope that you will.
Finally, I would like to close this post by saying congratulations to Bradley and Kristal on your first home together, I love you both and wish you all the best!
Thank you for reading – feedback, comments and spreading of the word are all welcome and appreciated… Cheers!
