Me and Paul
I’m a lucky guy to have an amazing group of friends in my life. I’d like to share a story with you now about one of my closest friends and most favorite people… this is the story of me and Paul.
I first met Paul in gym class in 10th grade – it was my first year at Chippewa Valley High School after having moved from St. Clair Shores. My father had recently died and I had a lot of emotions that I didn’t know how to handle. I was uncomfortable, insecure, and sad or angry most of the time and I didn’t know anybody in this strange new place.
I compensated for my angst and insecurity by acting out in very strange and unusual ways like running around the gym by myself singing ‘Weird Al’ songs and bouncing tennis balls off the wall. Most people (including Paul) did not find this amusing, they just thought I was crazy.
My first real interaction with Paul was when I attempted to sell him a water purifier in the locker room. “You can pee in this thing and the water will come out clean and pure!” I told him. My aunt convinced me that I could make money selling these things (and signing other people up to sell them) and so this is what I was trying to sell to Paul.
Paul was not interested or amused and told me to stay away from him.
There was something about Paul that intrigued me though. He was a very quiet and mysterious guy. He had long hair and wore Metallica shirts everyday. I thought he was one of the coolest guys I had ever seen and I wanted to be friends with him. Over the next two years I would continue saying “hi” to Paul in the hallways and he would just walk on by. I was never sure if he was ignoring me or if he was just wrapped up in his own world, unaware of what was going on around him. I thought there might also be a pretty good chance that he was stoned, but to this day, Paul swears it wasn’t so.
By the time senior year came around I had made a few friends, but Paul was still not one of them. On the first day in photography class I was sitting at a table by myself. The room was setup shop-style and each table had four stools around it. I was the only one in the room without someone at my table, and then Paul walked through the door. Paul was late to class.
I shouted excitedly, “Hey Paul! Over Here!” waving him over to my table. Every other seat in the room had been filled already, so Paul had no other choice. He sat down, and we would both very shortly discover that we liked the same bands, we were both learning how to play the guitar, and it wasn’t long before we were going over to each others houses every day after school to jam. That was almost 20 years ago and Paul remains one my closest friends.
I suppose my point is that we find the people who matter by being authentic.
We can meet hundreds of people and form a massive amount of meaningless relationships by trying to fit in. There’s a lot of pressure (in high school and beyond) to conform. But we don’t need hundreds of friends, and meaningless relationships are pointless.
You don’t have to conform. Be who you are. Even if it’s what other people might consider weird. Especially if it’s what other people might consider weird. Eventually, you’ll find the people that count. (btw, Seth Godin wrote an awesome book called We Are All Weird).
Yes – we open ourselves up to judgement, ridicule, and exclusion. But it’s all personal growth. Eventually, we arrive at the discovery that it doesn’t matter who doesn’t like us, it’s the ones who do that count. The people who gave us a chance and took the time to discover and explore those bonds. The people that know and love and accept us for all that we are… the good, the bad, the weird, and everything in between.
Do you have a story you’d like to share about how you met one of your best friends? Please feel free to comment below. Thanks for taking the time to read, cheers!
- D
Special thanks to Paul for sitting down with me to re-visit the past and confirm that every detail of this story is true to its word!
