Getting Back to Center
by Dennis Liegghio
I like to believe that I have it together most of the time. Focused, motivated, and on track. Most days I am grateful for the people and opportunities in my life. I love the work that I do, and I feel more often than not that I am doing what I’m meant to do.
At times though, things can get stressful and overwhelming, as is the case with most of us. Responsibilities and to-do lists pile up, expectations (of myself and others) fall short, and when all of that comes together in a perfect storm, it can leave me feeling disappointed, overwhelmed and powerless.
Tuesday was one of those days. There are 3 major events coming up, along with a heavy presentation schedule, and all of the day-to-day, behind-the-scenes detail work that goes into putting all of those things together in a way that makes sense and feels manageable. When I start to feel overwhelmed, an endless loop of negative self-chatter ensues and I begin to shut down. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, and I go to a place in my head where I walk away from it all.
Sitting around a bonfire at a friend’s house later that night, I heard a train in the distance and fantasized about what it would be like to hop on that thing and ride off into the night, ending up wherever and starting over somewhere new. Somewhere where nobody knew my name or my past or my story.
I could settle into a job washing dishes or something and live out my days in solitude and silence, never again having to plan, promote and execute another event, never again having to get up on stage and re-live my father’s suicide and what I through afterward. A place where every night was easy and free and I could sit in front of a bonfire with silence in my mind, instead of thinking about what is ahead and what must be done next.
This of course, is pure fantasy and I know (based on a trip that I took up north last summer) that I would be bored out of mind within a week, longing to get back to the people and the work that I love… my desire to do and create something that matters.
So how to recover from this? I spent many years trying to figure that out and lost a lot of time in those loops of fantasy-based thought patterns. Today those little mental trips to fantasyland are much fewer and farther between (and they don’t last nearly as long).
Here are four strategies that I use today to help me get back to center when life gets overwhelming:
1) Allow myself to feel this way (aka: awareness): It’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times. It means it’s time to take a little break. If I need to shut down for a few hours or a couple of days and allow myself to unwind, it’s important to do.
2) Recognize that feeling overwhelmed is based on a significant amount of stress and do things that will help manage it: Going for a long walk, writing, playing my guitar, shadow boxing, free weight exercises, meditating, singing along to some of my favorite music in the car… all of these things help me to release the tension in my body and my mind.
3) Get back into a routine: Waking up at the same time each day (early, but not too early!), showering, making my bed, eating breakfast, making coffee. On the days where I feel my best, my mornings follow this routine. If I’ve spent a few days out of town, or thrown off of this routine somehow, it can mess with my head and my mood. Getting back into the usual routine brings a sense of control and predictability to my day.
4) Verbalize it: The simple act of expressing yourself out loud to someone is enough to lighten the load and interrupt the negative self-chatter that it’s in our minds. This is not easy for me to do. I internalized everything for many years, but that only prolonged these episodes. Today, I force myself to get what’s on my mind off my chest.
I hope these strategies are helpful for you in some way when you’re feeling overwhelmed :)
Cheers,
- Dennis
Dennis is a professional speaker on overcoming depression and thoughts of suicide, the founder of KnowResolve (a non-profit organization dedicated to youth suicide prevention) and the author of “Building a Foundation for Happiness”. In his spare time, Dennis digs traveling, writing, cooking, meeting awesome people, reading, and making music with his friends in the Student Driver Band.
